New Normal

I didn't realize that it had been so long since I had posted anything.  Time flies!!

I have been busy recovering and trying to get my life back on track.  I am slowly getting there.  I take big leaps and then a few steps back.  I discovered a few months ago that my work within the Sisterhood revealed something that we all know but none of us really think about.

When we have life altering events happen in our lives we sit and wait for things to get back to "normal" - they never really do, do they?  Why is that?  Well for me it was an eye opening experience to have Goddess speak directly to me and tell me "This is your new normal."

You see we have a preconceived notion that things will go back to what they were but how can they?  We don't go back to where we were.  We never go back so we have to learn to adjust.  We adjust to the reality that we are living in - our new normal.

When someone dies or we go through a divorce or the list goes on and on we keep thinking that things will come to an even keel eventually and then we can move. When in reality we are already moving on.  We don't have a choice in the matter really but the sooner we realize that we have truly walked into a new normal the sooner we move forward.

So although we may find that we don't necessarily like where we are at the moment learning to accept it helps us move into a new place that we can embrace.  I am accepting my new normal.  I am moving forward.  As hard as it is to know I will never be able to hug my dad again, tell him I love him, I also know that he would not want me to stay in the dark place of hurt and missing.  He would want me to embrace my new normal!  I know he is still near just in a different form.  I will see him again some day but in the mean time I choose to move into my new normal and embrace what time I have left on this earth!

So what does your new normal look like?

Many Blessings,
Saets

Abundance Checks October 2012

For those that might be looking for the Abundance Check Dates for October here they are:

October 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27

April Abundance Check Dates

Here are the dates for April 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 30 - make sure you write your LOA checks!!

Blessings,
Saets

I received this in an email today and it spoke so very loudly to me that I felt the need to put it here for everyone.

No matter how tough life gets - and there are times when it's really rough - no matter how tough it gets, you should know that you are tougher.

You are strong and resilient and brave.

If you ever question that, even for a moment, look again at who you are and see yourself through spiritual eyes and you will understand exactly what I mean.

You get more amazing with every ticking of the clock.

Sunshine and Rainbows coming your way.

My Sweet Husband

Yesterday would have been my only daughters 20th birthday. Elizabeth Cassandra was a full term stillborn. Regardless of what anyone says it is not something that you get over. It gets easier to deal with, with time, but the pain of losing your child never goes away. She was beautiful in every way, a ton of hair, my nose, and perfect.Why she isn't here is still somewhat of a mystery. According to the ob/gyn and coroner she died of a Eutero SIDS. A case of SIDS inside the womb. She was fine the day before when I had my ultrasound and gone the next day. The why's of why she isn't here really don't matter anymore, all that matters is that she isn't here.

Her death changed my life in more ways than I can ever possibly put into words. The biggest way it changed my life though was in my religious view. I had been raised a Baptist. I believed that everything happened for a reason. Yet when Lizzy died everything changed. To begin with I had already lost my 3 sons to a horrific divorce and although I had learned to live with the loss I never got over it. It would have been different if I had been a terrible mom but I wasn't. It would have been different if I had not loved my sons but I absolutely adored them. I still do although all of our relationships are strained at best. I am just thankful that there are relationships at all at this point.

So back to Lizzy, when she died I became very, very angry. How could a God that I had believed in, worshiped, and loved be so cruel? He had taken away my 3 sons and now he took my only daughter. Yes, I blamed God. After all everything to that point in my life, that I had been taught, said that God was in control.  He had the power. I felt this way for a few years after Lizzy died.

11 months after Lizzy died we had a beautiful, healthy, wonderful son - I was thankful but still angry that I didn't have my daughter.  Yet life went on.

When my son was about 2 years old I had a friend who asked me to go to a "psychic fair" - my life of Christianity kicked in and fear reared its head. After some talking she talked me into going. When we got there she wanted me to have a reading. I immediately said "NO!!" She teased me by asking me if I thought I would go to hell?!!  My reaction was "YES!!"

After some talking she got me to have a reading. I told her to pick the psychic and that I would give no more information than my name. She picked the right person. The psychic's name was Christina and her reading put me on the path I am on today. One of these days I will sit and write about that reading and the beautiful things she said. The bottom line for today is that her reading led me to a life of healing, love and my pagan path. For that I am forever grateful.

So yesterday was my daughter's 20th birthday. It was a difficult day. With recently losing my wonderful dad and that pain being so raw I found myself in a place that made her loss more profound and difficult to handle this year. I decided to bake a cake in celebration of who she was to me and who she would have been if she had lived. I made a chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting as it is my hubby's favorite. I know that Lizzy would have loved and adored her dad!

After we each had our cake my dear sweet husband posted a poem for our daughter and that is really what this post is all about. My hubby is a thoughtful man who does not show his emotions much. He showed them last night and for me it was a very profound moment. It showed me that although we move on in life and learn to live with our pain and although that pain changes over time, it never goes away. It is always there and it changes who we are and how we look at the world around us. We slowly heal but we never forget the pain nor do we really ever get over it. This was a profound lesson in so many ways for me. One that I am still learning.

So that I can keep the poem in a safe place and know that it will always be here when and if I ever have the need to read it I am posting it here with the remarks that my hubby made. I am thankful that I have such a wonderful man in my life and a beautiful son that has blessed my life in more ways than I can count. I am also very thankful for even the strained relationship I have with my 3 oldest sons and will always wish that life could have been different for all of us.

Now to the poem:

Just some thoughts on the hardest cake that my wife will ever make .....
Ode To Elizabeth
I hopelessly sit here,
Like twenty years ago.
All the candles are lit,
No "Sweet Angel" to blow.

I look up to the heavens,
And shout out "WHY" ??
The silence is deafening,
They don't hear my cries.

Yet again with dismay,
I feel no breeze.
No wind on my face,
Just me on my knees.

I fight all the demons,
That lurk inside me.
I would let them all out,
But I can't find the key.

This battle is fought,
every day of my life.
I hope I'm winning,
But it's not a fair fight..

You can throw theology,
Right out the door.
The bottom line is,
She’s with us no more.....

She lives in my heart,
So were never apart
She’s with me today.
As it’s pumping away.

Yet my soul is still searching,
For the love that I lost.
So hard to find peace
At whatever the cost

Then I look to the heavens,
And I desperately cry.
“Please, just one more puff "
No need to ask why .........

We Love You Baby,
Dad, Mom & J

Many Blessings to You and Yours,
Saet

Abundance Checks - March 2012

Here are the Abundance Check dates for March!


March 1,2,3,4,5,6


Blessings,
Sage

February 2012 Abundance Check Dates

Since I am coming to this blog late in the month I am only going to post the dates that remain within this month. I will post March's in a separate post after these dates pass.

February Abundance Check Dates: February 23-28, 2012

Goddess Bless,

Saets

How To Write Abundance Checks

As I do this process monthly I thought I would share.  I will post the dates that abundance checks can be written each month.  


What is abundance?  Does this mean that you will always have a pocketful of money?  According to Webster's Dictionary one of the definitions of abundance is "Overflowing fullness" - I love this definition!  Abundance is an overflow of what YOU need at this time in your life, whether it be love, happiness, money, etc.  An overflowing fullness and believe me when I tell you that the Universe KNOWS what it is you need!  


So my wish for you is that you will have an overflowing fullness this month and every month of your life!  


Following is the process on how to write your Abundance Checks:


There is a traditional process, which has been handed down, that must be followed.  If you do not have a checking account you can draw a check on a piece of paper and fill it out the same way, the results will be the same, more abundance for you.


1) If you choose to write your check on the 'new' moon you should do this within 24 'after' the new moon. Or you may do this on any of the above dates (one or all makes no difference). Take a check out of your check book. DO NOT write 'void' in the register space instead write GIFT; UNIVERSAL ABUNDANCE; ALL THE MONEY I NEED; etc.


2) Now, where it says "pay to"; write your name.


3) In the little box on the same line where you put the dollar amount write, "PAID IN FULL"


4) On the line underneath your name, where you would write out the dollar amount write "PAID IN FULL"


5) Sign the check: "The Law of Abundance"


DO NOT put a date on the check. DO NOT write a specific dollar amount on the check. Put it in a safe place and forget about it. The Universe will take it from there.


Many people are skeptical about trying this until they do it. After the first time they realize the power of these checks and they do them routinely every month!


Bendithion Afallon,
Saets